GODD轮回的明天

生则张良椎之荆轲刀，死则黄巢掘之项羽烧，居然一抔尚在临潼郊，隆然黄土浮而高。



- 前些天看电视介绍秦皇陵介绍的纪录片，中间提到这首诗，觉得蛮有气势，收了。

昨夜的梦，上下半夜两个不同的梦。
上半夜，梦里遇到一个人，长相大概是一个认识的人的模样，有些像新近的这个客户杨X。梦里他看到我们公司的各种章放在一个盒子里。他说公司的章应该放在一个木盒子里，并且应该都一面朝上。为了不让有字的一面磨损掉，应该都朝上。公章和法人章怎么可能倒放，另一头都是圆的，梦里我就很纳闷了。这时，Ray来了，他把章一倒放，哈，就可以倒放了，真是奇怪。

下半夜，好不容易梦到一个女人，长相大概是昨晚看到 暹罗玫瑰 里面女主角的样子。大概是说要和我dating，当然高兴了。等着等着，发现是在帝国时代里面，不知哪里来的一个敌人的侦察兵，把我的羊和女农民都带走了，我追也追不回来，急啊。突然又冒出来一个新的女农民，说现在就要和我dating，我想大概和前面一个dating的时间就要到了，怎么又横生枝节，只能先就着眼前这姑娘了，正想说点什么，突然听到外面邻居的狗叫，没完没了的，睁开眼就气不打一处来。很久才遇到一个好梦，还让狗给搅黄了。sigh..........

昨夜又做梦
当然许多细节记不太清
梦中从一个地方，好像是办公室，出来后，转弯的墙后看到有卖羊肉串的，买了十串。结果还没来得及吃，就走入羊肉串摊旁边的一个门里。这个建筑好像是像筒子楼一般，不过又像北京我家旁边那栋和我家一模一样的楼。我上了二楼，不知去做什么，好像是要藏起来。后来又上到三楼，还是要藏起来。后来下到地下室，又藏起来。

这一段之后便是一段空白，大概睡了很久，又作了一段梦。

回到北京，从西面进入我家的那条胡同，到了最后的转弯的地方，发现原来的栅栏墙都没了，变成一个大排档，很多学生和其他什么人都在吃中饭，前面几个摊位好像在吃肉片洋白菜，我沿着路向北走，后面的一个摊位的人好像在吃土豆丝。转过弯向东走，看到一些穿着不知道什么学校校服的中学生，越过栅栏，爬进我家的那个小区。再向东走，走过我家旁边那栋一模一样的楼房，也是一群校服学生，一个接一个从窗户爬到一楼的门里，从侧面的栅栏能够看到他们进入这栋楼房前面的一个小广场里。

这时候脑子里突然升起一个像新闻一样的信息，是说这些学生所在的学校，因为造操场很费钱，就用这栋建筑前面的小广场作操场，而这栋楼房的业主比较不能接受这样的方式，就不给他们开大门。所以他们只能从窗户爬进去，或者从我家的栅栏翻过去再到旁边楼房的小广场。

突然迷茫了，突然感觉失落了。 心里告诉自己，世界杯和自己有什么干系呢？为什么要为了远在天边的足球和长久以来的关系终结呢？值不值？ 或者当这两件看起来本没有很大关系的事情比较的时候，已经说明问题了。 本是自初始就走在不同道路上的两个人，或者不同道路上的若干人，本就不会有关系；足球对我和对别人意味不同。 息事宁人是我长久的原则，恶语相向，何必呢。或许人与人互相安慰，互相谅解是一种更好的感觉，若无法互相微笑，只是离开便好吧。

I've been waiting for several hours since i woke up after two hours sleeping.

The game is about to kick off.

God bless Arsenal.

- Great Arsenal advanced to the next level!

Spring is a season to bring good news. It seems the dark medieval era has gone away from us and we've seen the milky twilight of dawn.

Me and my partner, Ray, have given great effort, patience and to reach another milestone, we deserve it definitely. if other people know how we got over last summer and winter, they will believe so as well.

Last Thursday is Ray's birthday, we haven't got a chance to find a nice restaurant to have a nice meal and I haven't bought him a gift, but I will as soon as the money arrives. Happy birthday to him and thank him for sharing all these with me.

Here I have another list of whom I really need thank to, without their help and trust we can not make it at all.

First I need to thank my mom, she understands me, believes in me and supports me all the time. Thank you, mom and I am sorry for what I've done to hurting you before.

Second I do really need to thank my ex-girlfriend, Wendy. Without her help, we could not work in the current office and I even could not keep living in this city.

Helen, the great helper from one of our clients. She brought us to this great chance and she's the one who guided us to drive this U-turn.

Mumu, the most understandable client we've ever served. He is Japanese, believes that we've done our best and helps us as most as he can.

Sharkie, another nice client offers us projects. I need to say sorry to her for bringing trouble to her sometimes on quotation and paying.

My auntie, she sent me several sms when she learned I got ill or during the festival, I can feel she knows my situation very well.

Vendors, Jim, Strong, Docan, Steve and Gao yang, without their great work we do not have any chance to keep the company running.

I'm also very proud of myself, I've got over those cold nights with hunger and loneliness and haven't lost my hope.

God bless us.

Winter is gone. Last Friday I had a conversation with one of my friends. She told me her boyfriend caught a badly cold several days ago and has to gone to bed very early in the evening, when she returned home after OT in the night, she gave him a kiss on the cheek and whispered whether he felt better.

Suddenly I realized it was kinda feeling I had never experienced before or I've forgotten. It's also a feeling of tenderness and softness that I can imagine. It just put me down to wordlessness.

Eight hours a dayI spend with my partner, only two of us and other sixteen I am with myself, two days of weekends as well.

Last Wednesday after visiting my client, I took a walk along Nan Jing Xi Lu. For a long time, I haven't seen so many people in a sunnday. The walkings made me remember I am still a social animal.

There are still some nice dreams that I can try to recall. I believe those were brought by the angels who sent from above and the dreams are the kisses they left on me. Though he know I would not put my believe in him, I respect him, sing for him and go to church to listen to him. So he must have forgiven me. Thanks God.

二月八日晚十九时离京，列车直达上海。五时半出门前随便和母亲吃了些什么，已不记得了，乘出租车至中粮广场。如以前离京一般，母亲替我买了两个汉堡，我自己买了一瓶上海没有的蓝涧矿泉水。

母亲一直带着我为她买的那顶滑雪帽，出来前母亲怕冷，多穿了一幅袜套，加之鞋子也不太合适，所以我尽量在夜幕的幽暗中走得慢些，母亲跟在我后面，我看不到她，只能听到她的脚步。

到了北京站前的广场上，我让母亲在一辆巡警车的旁边等我，我去买站台票。在广场暗淡的灯光下，我拿着票向母亲的方向走来，看到她一个人站在那里，一手提着装有我毛衣的马甲袋，另一只手替我抱着那瓶矿泉水。

母亲跟在我后面一起进了候车大厅，稍等片刻后，开始进入站台了，走到十五号车厢前，等我前面的两个人上了车，我给乘务员看了我的票，漂亮的乘务员让我上了车。母亲跟在我后面，我走进了车厢后，听到身后母亲在外面的声音，“不能上吗？前面的是我儿子，我帮他放行李。”我没回头，知道回去理论也只是耽误时间，快步走向里面，找到我的座位，把手中的提包和背上的书包放好就翻身奔出来找我的母亲。走到门口，望见了人群后面的她，我分开人群，找到母亲，赶忙接过她手中的袋子和水瓶。

昏暗的灯光下，我看不清她的脸，只是觉得母亲很憔悴，我心里突然升起说不出的酸楚。我紧紧地拥住母亲，以我的面颊贴紧母亲的脸颊。上了车，我就只有等到一年后才可以再见到母亲了，我不敢太逗漏自己的感情，赶快稳定情绪。母亲离我一米有余，对我叮嘱若干，其中提到，“回家这些日子，未见你口中多提静雯，我也不问如何，只是我儿如果有难处大可告诉我，为母的一定会尽力帮你。” 我突然觉得鼻子很酸，极力忍住，只是轻轻地点头，只是简单的安慰了母亲两句就赶忙躲进了车厢里。

坐在座位上，看到母亲站在窗外，隔音玻璃已经断绝了母子间声音的交流。我只是和母亲用手语比划着一些简单的内容。母亲嘱咐我一定要吃好饭，睡好觉，养胖一些。我努力的点头，我也比划着，会和她通电话。夜幕降临，北京的冬夜很寒冷，我摆手让母亲回家，她起先不肯，我再三劝说，她才慢慢离去。

过了一会儿待我转头望着窗外，母亲却又回来了。我此刻的情绪一下乱了套，愣愣地看了母亲一会儿，又摆手让她走。见母亲依依不舍地转身离开，我贴在冰冷的车窗上看着她远去，却想起了朱自清的《背影》。

直至母亲走出我的视线，我蜷缩在座位上以双手掩面，久久，久久......